I haven’t blogged in like, three months! And I miss it terribly! But the fact is, lately I’ve been very preoccupied.
First of all, I’m applying to CHS for Lit art and I’m kinda freaking out. I mean, what if I’m not good enough? My friends keep assuring me that I am, but I’m freaking out just the same. What if I don’t have what it takes? Also, writing an autobiography is a lot harder than it seems. Especially when you need to do it in under 500 words.
CHS is amazing. I can really see myself going there. I love the atmosphere, especially the paintings on the wall… Their e-newspaper (is that even a word? If not then it is now) is great too. Too bad I can’t read any of the stuff from last year. This year’s stuff is pretty interesting. But why the heck did they call it The Wallflower? That makes no sense to me whatsoever. Anyways, I love the place. And I would love to be in a full-time writing program. Writing is in my blood… Although it probably doesn’t seem like it here since I don’t blog that much. But hey, I have a life too… Although my life is kinda boring… But hey, forget I ever said that.
English class is bugging me this year though. It’s been bugging me for a while. The last time I was really allowed to explore my limits was back in Grade 6. The teacher honestly didn’t care about what we wrote, as long as we were expressing ourselves. That was also the last time I got to experiment with violence in my stories. Last year, when I approached my English teacher about a murder scene, he objected, saying that the Principal wouldn’t be too happy if she read it, blah blah blah… Since when does the Principal’s opinion on a student’s work matter? I wrote the murder scene anyways, but did it so that it was accidental murder. Sometimes, you have to reject what the teacher says/thinks in favour of a your creative license. That story would not have been complete without a murder. And for some reason, the teacher didn’t seem to notice that I’d ignored the rules.
I can’t wait to be able to explore again… that is, if I make the program.
Also, I can’t wait to escape the harsh reality of my school, which I absolutely hate, and do not want to graduate from. Wait… that does not sound like what I meant. Let me rephase that. I wish I could graduate from my old school. All CMS ever did for me was irritate me. It continues to do so, except that my French/Art/History teacher is great… For once, history, which I normally hate, was interesting and FUN! Although I’m not too fond of the art projects. But she can teach. And she’s really supportive. She’s pretty awesome.
I feel like no one at CMS truly understands me though, which makes me somewhat depressed. I wish people were more willing to understand me though. I feel like I’m asking too much of people though. But I will never completely adjust, which is just as well, since I’m only spending a year here anyways. I will never adjust to the fact that there is no Strings program. I love the viola and I miss it terribly. The teacher who was making band bearable left to teach at my old school, and has been replaced by some other teacher who never ceases to frustrute me. She’s overly optimistic, doesn’t understand anyone, and is not willing to give me more time to properly learn the flute. I’m more of a nuisance than a student. I’ll bet that she’s failing me already.
Well, that’s all for today. I hope to be back soon (not in 2 months!).