Ugh… My life, as usual.

Let’s face it. I hate being gifted.

For all those of you who think being smart is all that great, believe me, it’s not. It’s nice during arguments, nice to rub in people’s faces, but other than that? Not really. When you’re gifted, you’re misunderstood in the worst way possible. Knowing that you’re part of the top 2% of the population is pretty harsh. But still, that’s 1 in 50 people. Pretty common, right? Well, when some people can recognize it within 5 minutes of meeting you, you know you can’t hide from the truth. I don’t actually know how far up there I am. But the thing is, someone recently asked me what my IQ was. I told her I didn’t know. And honestly? I think I’m better off that way.

For years, people have recognized me for what I am. I’m different. I’ve met a few others who are gifted, but not all of them give off the aura that I do. I try to act like I don’t care, but honestly, I do. People have been poking around at me since I was six. What am I gonna do, not notice? I was once offered a spot in the local Gifted program. At the time, I really wanted to do it. I was in third grade, and I went to a school I absolutely hated. I visited the class, and I felt that I belonged. My parents refused though. They told me it was for the best at the time. I didn’t really believe them. Now I do.

Fast forward 5 years later. I go to school with a regular class. I feel normal. (By the way, when you’re me, that’s a good thing.) My class still bugs me about being smart, but hey, that’s normal. It’s better than being treated like a walking dictionary. Trust me on that one. And I work hard, harder than most. I feel like I’m drowning in work sometimes. And I struggle with work too sometimes. Although sometimes the struggling has more to do with me getting bored and not wanting to do the work. But my school also has a gifted program. I’m not in the class. Once you refuse a chance, you don’t get another one until high school. And I already refused that one. I had my reasons.

The people in the gifted program at my school… well, everyone just call them Gifties. When I first found out about it, I was really offended. We’re just as normal as everyone else. We’re not a different species or anything. But after I actually met the Gifties, I understood why…

I have a feeling the Gifties aren’t offended by us calling them that. I suspect they rather like it. They treat us pretty poorly too, and call us “normals”. They only talk to each other, and if they do talk to you, it’s usually not good. And they feel like they’re above answering our questions. That’s what my parents wanted me to avoid. They didn’t want me to turn out like them, to feel superior to everyone else. I talked to someone, and she says she feels like she gave up on being gifted in order to have a social life. I understand that perfectly. Being all high and mighty like that… I don’t think I could stand it. Yeah, I know. You going to tell me I’m still one of them. But no, I’m not. Not like that.

Today, though, I got a glimpse of what I was missing out on. I was in their classroom for one period. We were having history class temporarily in there, but whatever. It made me go crazy.
I learned something new today. When I’m in a room with a bunch of high school/college/university level science fair projects that are done by GRADE SEVEN students, I tend to drop everything and read them. Or attempt anyways. Some random grade seven did his/her project on gene mutation inside a university science lab, which is hardly where you’d expect a twelve to thirteen year old kid to hang out. I didn’t understand half of it. Something about yeast, alpha factor, and nicoclyametide or something like that. Anyways, it sparked my curiosity. Not to mention, they learn grade 10 level math. Maybe even higher. A bunch of people started asking what the hell it was, but the teacher asked us if we hadn’t learned it yet.
I hope he was joking.

Anyways, a guy in my class told me that I belonged in there. And I told him I didn’t. But, you know, I’m starting to think maybe I do… Math class today was boring. I’m about 2 chapters ahead of my class–and that’s after 2 periods of absence, one where I did nothing, and one where I did nearly nothing. Great. And I hate math. But I’m starting to wonder if it’s just because the work has never been challenging enough before. In all my years of school, I’ve never been truly challenged in class. What keeps me alive is the little things. Our teacher makes us do these comprehension tests in French. She gives us two periods to do them. However, I usually try to set a record for them. We get 100 minutes. I usually finish in 25. I research things in my spare time. I read books. A lot. I’ve been known to finish 5 novels in a few hours.

So now I’m wondering. My friend told me to just switch. But you can’t just switch to gifted. It doesn’t work that way. But I wonder, if I had taken that path, where would I be right now? Being gifted is harsh. Unfortunately, if you’re not one of us, a gifted person who sometimes wishes to be normal, who gave up some of it for a social life, you’ll never understand. But I’d never give it up. That’s the weird part. It’s who I am.

Ugh. I guess being gifted is both a blessing and a curse. Just most non gifted people either ignore, downplay, or don’t know about the curse part.

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