Poem

I thought I’d share one of my poems today.

What Talent?

Inspiration doesn’t come when you call it.
Not even remotely when you need it.
Oh, no. It runs away from you. It stutters. It stalls.
It finds good excuses – oh, sorry, good reasons
To not help you out.
I’m sure it says (or is saying),
“Oh, look, she’s tired, I won’t bother her with good ideas” or
“She has two weeks to finish that; she doesn’t need my help”
Which is really annoying.
Or, maybe you just infuriated the Greek muses.
Really, who knows?

And when your creativity finally shows up—
Oh, when it comes, it’s always at the most inconvenient time
Such as, in the bathroom or
At three in the morning
Or during that really boring science test—
I mean, ideas are great and all but you sort of need to pass that—
And creativity doesn’t always flow like water, but no,
It drips and abruptly stops or
It is a crashing tsunami that quickly washes away,
And then you’re just stuck there thinking,
“Why,
Why do I even do this art thing with my life?”

The problem is, the making of a creation
Is a long and drawn out process that involves
Sitting at your desk and yelling
“Ideas! Come to me!”
(Which may be why the Muses hate you in the first place?)
Or you know, even days when ideas appear while you’re otherwise occupied
But disappear before you grasp them,
And, it involves piles of messy drafts
And mounds of vile work
And days of adjusting details to unattainable perfection.

The worst part?
Your friends might come over and look at
Your painful hours of exertion and tell you
That you “were hit with the talent stick too many times.”
Talent stick? What talent stick?
It’s not like someone invisibly walks around and
Randomly bops people on the head with this huge stick marked “TALENT”
And doles out talent (Because why not?)
And this person is like “You’re going to be this amazing singer” or
“You’re going to be this amazing painter and—
Yeah. No.
Life doesn’t work that way. Sadly.
It takes time and work and so much effort
To do something presentable
And so, when people tell me that I’m talented,
Sometimes, just sometimes,
I look at them like, “What talent?”

Thoughts on Getting Accepted to CHS (Part 2)

About 6 months ago, I wrote a post about what I thought about being accepted to Canterbury. Now, a week after my first day at CHS, I can write down my thoughts about actually going to the school. 

  1. I have to wake up super early to go there. Living 26km from your high school is never a good idea. Unless, of course, that high school is Canterbury. It takes me about an hour and a half  to get there in the mornings by bus, even though it’s a 20 minute drive from home. The first two buses I take aren’t that crowded though, would is a godsend. And it gives me time to write these posts ( or read or do my homework).
  2. I love the vibe coming off of the school. The murals are awesome (like, who wouldn’t want paintings on the walls of their school?) and you can literally feel the creative energy emanate from, well, everyone.
  3. There are to types of people in my lit class. The people who really like English and the people who actually love writing. I don’t even know where I am in these two, so, moving on. 
  4. I’m not getting censored anymore (finally!). The last time I had a teacher who didn’t censor us was three years ago. About two years ago, for some reason I wasn’t allowed to write a story where a character commits suicide. Something about it being too dark, although it’s not like we were reading our work to six year olds (or to anyone else for that matter).
  5. Computer science is a hard course. Especially since I’m taking it with grade 10 students (which is really intimidating). Do not take a grade 10 course as an elective during first semester. Or try not to. You won’t die, but it might be in your best interest to reconsider. That damn course is so fast paced…

So yeah. Things I’ve learned. But also, there is so much to do in high school, and there’s something for everyone. (Unfortunately, I don’t have time to do it all. That sucks.)

-Rebeeks

Thoughts on Getting Accepted to CHS

I’m going to be a CHS lit art student next year. I feel really good about that. I really wanted to go there. But really, it means a lot more to me that just the arts program.

In so many ways, going to CHS , in my life, is very symbolic. It symbolizes going full circle, in a number of ways. I started school in that neighbourhood. I’m going to finish in that neighbourhood. That’s insanely cool, considering the fact that I live 20km away now. I’ve always belonged there. Going to JMSS wouldn’t be the same. It’s true, I’ve met at lot of people this year. And JM is my home high school, and all my new friends are going there. Some of them are actually sad about the fact that I won’t be going to high school with them. And I’ll miss them terribly. But honestly? I’ve only known them for a few months. And I don’t belong with them. It’s true. The energy is just, so different in this part of town. I don’t like this energy. It stirs up something in me that would rather stay asleep. So, I belong at CHS. I’ve known it since the day I first set my eyes on it. A bit cliché, but true. Plus, as to all my other friends, we’ll still keep in touch, right?
You know who your true friends are when, even 2 years after there’s no chance of you seeing each other again, you’re still in touch daily. Even more so when your friends accept to send you handwritten letters. (For the record, we gave up on handwritten letters after I got email, but it still touches me how nice my friends are.)

Another one of my friends, one I haven’t seen in a while, is going to CHS as well. I’m kind of (okay, scratch that, I’m really excited) to see her again and go to high school with her. Again, going full circle. We both have other close friends now, though, so it’s going to be awkward, but hey, I’m convinced we can make it work. So many people come together there, and I’m happy to be a part of that. New friends, old friends, and hopefully I’ll meet some new people. High school is going to be AMAZING if I can make it work. And I’m convinced I can.

I’m also really happy I get to take Lit at CHS. I’ve wanted to take it since grade six, so in a number of ways, it’s a dream come true. I’ve always loved writing. That’s part of the reason why I started this blog. So yeah, I better start taking this blog more seriously.